I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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