Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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