Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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