Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
and she was petting her beer can
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
