Acid is not a monday night drug
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
