How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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