I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
