Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
