I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
