i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
