it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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