can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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