It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
