well he's currently spooning the coffee table
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
