I'm so fucking centered right now
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
