Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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