No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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