"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
