Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
