Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
