6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
