How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
