the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
