Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
