Me too!
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Randomize
