I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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