My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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