marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
