I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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