Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
