She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just had sex on a roof
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
