no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
