Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
