I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
