I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I have demons in me.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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