my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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