I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
