Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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