Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
