There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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