we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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