just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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