.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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