i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize