You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
