Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Fuck appropriateness.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
