One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
either way he was missing a nipple.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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