I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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