I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I am midnight drunk by noon
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
