either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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