I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
