Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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