Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
