after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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