check it out our google latitudes are spooning
barbara walters just said penis...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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