Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
