It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
