I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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