it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
