my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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