Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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