They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize