my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
