Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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