the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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