Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
