girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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