She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Randomize
