so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
