You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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