I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
